Dear Jem,

I am a summer, weekend sailor in the UK which means I get out a handful of times a year. Because of this I don't see the need to spend lots of dosh on new windsurfing kit. I did recently buy a 2003 board but my sail quiver dates back to 1993.

Sell, sell, sell!!

What I am wondering is, are my old sails holding my sailing back? Would the sport become instantly easier if I were to update my quiver?

Darren Evans, Derby

Jem: The sport would become much easier if you used modern sails. They are more stable and actually twist, thereby releasing power. This would mean an instant stance improvement as you can channel your energy into getting the board going fast rather than battling with the sail. The lighter weight of modern sails would greatly assist you in transitions when accompanied by a lighter, higher percentage carbon mast. The newer sails would basically compliment the commitment you have made by purchasing a more recent board.

Buy, buy, buy!!

There are many options when purchasing up to date sails. Shops do good deals on last years sails and always have a good stock of second hand kit. You will have more possibility of after sales service from a shop should a problem occur with the sail. However you can get a real good price by buying privately. However and whatever you buy, please do seek rigging advice as a perfectly tuned sail will see you reaching for the sky!

Search for second hand sails

Dear Jem,

How do you get a sticky mast apart at the end of your sailing session when there is no one else to help you?

Dave Jones, North Wales

Jem: Um…not so easy. Try the following methods…

Clamp your boom tightly onto the mast below a section (where you would normally put it when you rig the sail). Grip the top section of the mast, hard and tight, and twist towards the clew end of the boom. For better purchase or if you have smaller hands go further up the mast where it is narrower.

If this doesn’t work, the next stage requires you to have two booms! Clamp the second boom tightly onto the bottom of the top section of the mast at right angles to the first boom and push or pull them together like two levers to prise the mast apart. If this fails then you will have to grab that poor passer by to help you. Anyway, what are you doing windsurfing by yourself, do you not know your RYA seven common senses?!

Dear Jem,

I want to forward and I am NOT afraid, I just feel that I never get around the loop quickly enough! Whenever I try, I land with the board in the air and my head ‘dunked’ in the water.

If I do not learn this soon, I will take up body boarding.

Alex from Cambridge

Jem: Firstly, nice one for giving them a good go. It sounds like you are either taking off too close to the wind and/or not rotating horizontally enough.

Technique is everything

Consider the following points in order, and as you practise, try and make each part more automatic until you have worked down the list and successfully looped.

• The take off should be just off the wind. The flatter the water, the more broad you need to go.
• Have your back hand really far back. It should be almost on the adjustment collar of the boom.
• Really look behind you and over your rear shoulder.
• Extend the front arm FORWARDS AND ACROSS YOU. This really bears you away in the air, like a flare gybe entrance. Your front hand should be by the front harness line.

You can and will do the forward. You’ve crossed the greatest hurdle of trying them. Now get out there and have it!

(Apparently there is a coach who can help you with this. You will find his words of wisdom in these fair pages and he has an array of overseas performance boosts.)

ENJOY!!

Dear Jem,

When rigging, I have been told to put about three quarters downhaul on, then put my boom on, then the rest of the downhaul. But then I saw a fellow sailor putting all his downhaul on first, and then putting his boom on?

Why have I seen two different ways and what is the correct procedure or does it not matter?
 
Steve Foster from Bristol
 
Jem: It can be confusing, this entire rigging lark, and there are many ways to go about it. I find it best to put all my downhaul on first.

With no boom on it is easier to assess the amount of downhaul the sail has, either from the amount of rotation in the sail around the mast or in its leech looseness. (These factors depend on what sail you are rigging). From here you can attach your boom and put on the correct outhaul for the conditions.

Boom on, boom off, decisions, decisions…

However some people find it easier to get the last bit of downhaul on by attaching the boom and using the outhaul to bend the mast, like an archer bending a bow. They can then tune the outhaul and downhaul accordingly.

It doesn’t really matter as long as your sail is rigged right. Other friendly windsurfers can advise you or try your nearest shop.

Dear Jem,

“I struggle to get my fin out of my fin box. I have to bash it out which either damages my fin or me! Any advice?”

Malcolm King, London

Jem: “Always a tricky one, especially if the fin box has some sand or grit in it. You have to bash the delicate front edge of the fin to dislodge it. If you bash too hard the fin flies out and hits the back of the board.

My trick is to take my shoes off. Lay one shoe on the tail of the board behind the fin (to prevent the fin hitting the bottom of the board when it swings back) and hit the front edge of the fin with the sole of your other shoe. The sole of your shoe should be padded enough not to damage the fin when you hit it.”

Extreme method!

Dear Jem,

“I am a small, lady sailor and I’m fed up of not being able to put the last bit of downhaul on my sails. Any top tips or do I simply have to go to the gym or find a windsurfing boyfriend?”

Nia Watkin, Southsea

Jem: “Don’t worry; it’s not just small ladies that have a problem. Most sailors never put enough downhaul on their sails but with a few selective purchases life can be made much easier. The most expensive first…

1. Buy the correct mast for the sail. (£100-£300) Look at your rig set up; is your sail on the recommended mast? If the mast is too long, so you have to adjust the head strap, this will make downhauling hard as you have to make the mast bend more to fit the sail.

2. Buy the NEW North Ratchet Extension. No effort downhauling at a price! (£100) Works on any type of sail – the coolest solution!

3. Buy an Arrows extension. The only extension with a pulley hook and 4 pulley system (£50) but it will only work if your sail has a cringle at the bottom.

4. Buy an easy rig, either a winch system or simple handle and cleat. (£5-£10)

5. Oil your pulley blocks with WD40 or 3 in 1 oil (£2.99 from DIY shop) and change your downhaul rope. Old frayed rope makes downhauling twice as hard!

Belinda: “A much simpler and cheaper solution darling, just flutter your eyelashes and get someone stronger to help you.”

Dear Jem,

“Whenever I get on top of my board, it keeps heading up, can it be too short?”

Nobby Shift, East Sussex

Jem: “Absolutely not, short is good. Sounds like you are not putting enough pressure through the mast foot when you are trying to bear away. Try knocking your boom up a notch or so, about chin height. Then with a wide stance, hang off the boom like a monkey. Keep yourself below the boom, as you bear away, slowly straighten up, and go for the front strap.”

Dear Belinda,

I need some advice and quick. I know make- up and windsurfing don’t mix and you may think I’m being a bit vain, but frankly, I don’t care. I have never NOT worn make-up and I’m not going to start now, just because my sister booked me onto a learn to windsurf weekend for my birthday. I know she is trying to set me up with one of the instructors at the local centre so the make-up stays on.

So Belinda, I need the make of a decent waterproof mascara that has been tested in sea water and some good lippy that won’t come off after my first few dunkings.

Linda Mather, Blackpool

Belinda: Whoa there tiger, this ain’t going to work. Ten minutes into your lesson and you’re going to look like a clown dragged face first over some wet grass. Waterproof mascara means it won’t smudge with the odd drunken tear at the end of a long night. Nothing can prepare your face for the sea water cleansing therapy you will receive in your first windsurfing lesson and consequently, not even grease oil will stay on your face. I’m sorry; you will have to charm him with your personality and eagerness to learn. Leave the lippy at home!

In case you’re still undecided, I sent my poor sister out to sail, in full make up. Just look at the result!

What a mess!

My girlfriend has just started to windsurf. I am trying to teach her and I really want her to get better, but it is causing major rows between us on and off the water. She says I have no patience and that I shout at her when she doesn’t get it right. But the reality is, I have the patience of a saint and it is her that shouts at me when she falls off for the 44th time that session. I think she is learning the sport just to please me.

Should I tell her to give up now to save our relationship?

Mark Hancock, Plymouth

Belinda: Windsurfing is a tricky little number in the early days and perhaps that is something you have forgotten. Frustration in women often leads to devil-like behaviour with tantrums, accusations, abuse and finally tears. But she is really trying and wanting to get better, for YOU, so grin and bear it in the short term.

The other option would be to let someone else take the abuse, (no, don’t dump her), just get a qualified RYA windsurfing instructor, who are all trained in dealing with abusive women, to teach her instead. Why not treat her to a week’s windsurfing clinic abroad? I know a coach who is very good with frustrated, psycho, windsurf chicks.

And when she’s giving you abuse, imagine this: you’re trying to get her to come in after three hours on the water as you are both late for Mothering Day Sunday lunch. But she won’t come in; she’s loving it so much. You hear her shout across the breaking surf, “My mother can wait”. Your eyes well up as you rush out to join her for another hour, this is heaven, and you love her.

Couple heaven

Dear Belinda,

I was reprimanded by a Mary Whitehouse look-a-like at my local beach for exposing myself whilst getting into my wetsuit by the side of my car. The problem was I forgot my towel so didn’t have anything to cover my behind. I’m not too bothered but I’m a bit scared of Mary who said she would report me to the police for indecent exposure!!

Can she do this?

Marcus Owen, Swansea

Belinda: A tricky one if you have forgotten your towel. Personally I think there is nothing more delightful then catching sight of a pert white bottom on a windy day down at the beach. But I guess the sight can offend the more conservative members of our society. I suppose it depends on the state of your bottom!

In terms of being arrested for such exposure, I have done some research and discovered that a slight slip of the towel could cost you up to a £1000 fine! The law is the Town Police Clauses 1847, Section 28 which makes it an offence for any person to wilfully and indecently expose his person in any street to the "obstruction, annoyance or danger of the residents or passengers".

This offence carries a fine of a maximum of £1,000 but can only be dealt with by magistrates therefore it is not a criminal offence. So my advice is, don’t forget your towel!

But for everyone’s benefit, here follows my younger sister showing how to get into a wetsuit without exposing yourself with only your clothes and transport for disguise.

Dear Belinda,

I’m in serious trouble with my better half. She spent the weekend at her sisters in Kettering whilst I went sailing for two solid days at Hunstanton. She returned on Sunday evening to find me exhausted, lounging on the sofa with a sore back and suspicious red marks on my neck. How can I stop this from happening again?

Kyle Rodgers, Leicester

Belinda: Oh dear, what a pickle. Firstly let me assume that your sore back is due to an unexpected catapult and those love bites are red rashes from the neck of your wetsuit? If so, it seems that your better half has jumped to the wrong conclusions fairly quickly. Has she something to be suspicious about? Have you been a naughty boy in the past or is she just one of those paranoid, jealous types that give the womens' race such a bad name?

I don’t know darling, but what I do know is that you have to do some serious making up and secondly don’t let this happen again.

Dear Belinda,

I really fancy this windsurfer at my local beach. The problem is she is way better than me and only hangs out with the good male sailors. I don't exactly look cool in a seat harness, getting catapulted on every run. How can I approach her and what do I say to impress her?

David Simpson, Chester

Belinda: Firstly, is she worth it? If she only seems interested in the good guys I say she’s shallow and not worth bothering with. But if your heart’s still pounding then here’s what to do:

Approach her first by asking to borrow her easy rigger or screwdriver. Tell her she sails real good and you wish you could sail like her. Then ask her for tips on how not to catapult. If it’s all going well, ask her to follow you on the water for one run to see what you’re doing wrong. If she agrees to this then she’s interested, if she says, “get lost, you seat harness loser” then cut your loses and walk away.

Dear Belinda,

“I’ve been trying to carve gybe for about 11 years. I read all the articles, watched all the videos, been on expensive coaching clinics but still I have done about 10 in my life! It’s got that bad that I’m thinking of giving up windsurfing and taking up kitesurfing but what with my family commitments I don’t have the time! Please help me!”

Gordon Hancock, Devon

Belinda: Windsurfing is a hard sport. It takes hours of practice on the water to get better, no matter what your level. If you added up the actual hours spent on the water over the past 11 years, I bet it’s a lot less then you think. It is like saying you’ve been skiing for 5 years (going once a year to France) which means you’ve actually been skiing for 5 weeks!

I remember doing my first carve gybe back in 1985. I used to pull it out at every major UK contest and the crowds would go wild, simply wild with my graceful technique and… sorry getting carried away, such happy memories. Anyway back to YOU. The carve gybe is the first manoeuvre tried at full planing speed and I think it was the most difficult move I ever learned.

So take a break from the gybe: learn to tack a short board, learn to heli tack on a longboard borrowed from your local shop, learn to go faster in a straight line, get into the waves, practise jumping, spend more time with your wife at the weekends, it’s really not the end of the world. As long as you can waterstart, who needs to gybe? Just fall in, lay your sail away from you, and swim it round and waterstart again. Don’t get bogged down in the gybe, it will come. Move on to other moves and ENJOY your sailing again.