1. Do not tell your boss or colleagues that you windsurf. Harping on about your love of low pressure systems and looking adoringly out of the office window on a great blustery day is only going to create a windy /absenteeism reputation that will be impossible to shake!
2. Flirtation, flattery and general sycophancy towards your boss if the best way to stay in favour and therefore make the fall from grace less hard! Even if you think he is a complete nerd /idiot – pretend! Having them on your side from the outset always encourages a little “leniency”.
3. Always wear loads of sun block. You cannot call in sick only to have a bright red nose the next day in the office.
4. Devise a long term illness strategy that requires you to take time off during the day at short notice.
5. Plan your day. If it is windy in the morning, get up early, call work to say you have broken down (your car /van that is) and then go sailing! You can then race back and appear extra conscientious by working through your lunch. Made even easier in conjunction with tip 2!
6. If you hear of a major traffic jam on the radio news then, utilise this god given opportunity to get to the beach and blame your lateness on the jam.
7. Only work for a company that offers flexi-time.
8. Beaches are not a good place to make a call, especially to the background of wind, vans, rigging up and shore break. Phone in advance from somewhere quiet or send a text!
9. If the boom or any part of your kit hits you in the face when you are out windsurfing, then blame it on the car door getting swung open in the wind as you were going to the chemists.
10. If all else fails, then put it down to marital problems, depression, contagious illnesses, fever, house subsidence, blizzards, floods, plagues, killer bees, Trifids, alien abduction or a sudden bout of agoraphobia.
The above tips are courtesy of Clyde Waite and Lucy Robson. Hold on, doesn't Clyde work for us?!
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